don't die on my shift

itu yang biasanya terlintas dalam pikiran saya ketika seorang pasien sepertinya sedang mendekati sakaratul maut. selama beberapa tahun bergulat *almost literally* merawat pasien, melihat peristiwa kelahiran yang menakjubkan dan kematian yang memilukan, sepertinya saya jadi semakin 'ngeh' kalo seseorang sedang mendekati ajalnya.

jahat memang pikiran saya itu, but i couldn't help it.

masalahnya bukan saya takut disalahkan keluarga pasien (insert gambaran seorang dokter yang dikejar dengan parang oleh keluarga pasien) atau ditegur (lagi) sama supervisor kenapa pasien satu itu bisa 'lewat'. masalahnya adalah menyampaikan berita kepada keluarga bahwa sang suami, ayah, kakak yang mereka cintai telah meninggal dunia. it's vvery hard to do, you know.

like this one i'm dealing with. apparently this man has fallen into a semi-comma state since last night (approx. 18 hours before) and now when the nurse called upon me this man's condition was far from better. we can barely measure his blood pressure. so i injected adrenalin, highten his feet....and i'm gonna stop before going too medicalish :D

but it didn't get him better.

half hour past five i was, again, called by the nurse. when i arrived at the ward the family was already gathered. one young man was reciting prayers, the others hold their hands up in the air hoping their prayers would be heard by the Almighty one. i quickly searched for his pulse, looked to his skinny chest examining for any breathing attempt, and then checked his pupils. he was gone. i knew then that i had to break the news.

when i delivered the bitter reality there was this a moment of pause, a glimpse of silence. the strong wife was crying silently.

i then excuse myself out.

call me drama queen. i mean drama king but, it's not easy. it's never been easy.

Comments

  1. mati itu cuma masalah antrian dok, kita tidak tau udah ada di urutan berapa... silahkan pa dokter yg terhormat antri di depan saya, ga usah malu-malu hihihi

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  2. assalamualaikum..
    kak luke,just drop by to say hello..
    hehee..
    lg tugas dimana mq skrg kak??

    anyway, i definitely agree bout ur statement very much!
    the hardest part is telling the family that the patient is not here anymore..
    hugz..hugz..

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